Twas the day before the night before Christmas, when all through Wall Street
Not a creature was stirring, not even Preet;
The stocks were hung at the highs of the year,
In hopes that St. Stimulus soon would be there;
The Millenials were nestled all smug in their beds;
While visions of sharing danced in their heads;
And Dan in his ‘kerchief, and BK in his Bear Suit,
Were still looking for a bull thesis they could shoot,
When out on the Street there arose such a clatter,
Traders sprang from their screens to see what was the matter.
Away to the pits they flew like a flash,
And put on a tail hedge, preparing for a crash.
The sun on the breast of a perky little show,
Gave a lustre to the midtown to objects below,
When what to their wondering eyes did appear,
But a miniature sleigh and eight tiny rein-deer,
With a smart little driver quick and lively she be,
They knew in a moment he must be MLee.
More rapid than eagles her coursers they came,
And she whistled, and shouted, and called them by name:
“Now, Guy! now, Tim! now Seaburg and Karen!
On, Grasso! on, Pete! on, BK and Dan!
At the top of the hour! I’m talking to you all!
Let’s keep it lively and fun so ratings don’t fall!
So out to the NASDAQ the coursers they flew
With the sleigh full of trades, and Melissa Lee too—
And then, in a twinkling, upon the roof
The prancing and pawing of each little hoof.
As the clock was making the 5pm round,
Down the chimney the FM gang came with a bound.
Tim was dressed all in suede, from his head to his foot,
And BK’s Bear Suit was tarnished with ashes and soot;
A bundle of value Karen flung on her back,
And Guy looked like a trader from the way-back.
Dave Seaburg’s eyes—how they twinkled! his stock picks, how cherry!
While Pete’s picks were like roses, his options how merry!
Dan’s droll little mouth was drawn up like a bow,
And the options on his blotter were in the green as we now;
Steve Grasso held the stump of a pipe tight in his teeth,
While the profits, they circled his head like a wreath;
They had a broad audience that made other shows jelly
Which made them shake and laugh, like a bowl full of jelly.
They were bright and funny, right jolly old elfs,
And people laughed when they saw them, in spite of themselves;
A wink of M Lee’s eye and a twist of her head
Let them all know she was the one to dread;
She spoke not a word, but went straight to her work,
And turned around and called Guy a jerk,
And laying a finger aside of her nose,
And giving a nod, up the chimney they rose;
She sprang to the sleigh, to her team gave a whistle,
And away they all flew like the down of a thistle.
But I heard them exclaim, as they drove out of sight—
“Happy Christmas to all, and to all a Fast Money night!